Filipina English

You're It!!!

2010-02-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

On my way to school for a grammar class, and yes, having donned my "grammar police" mode, I spot this rather witty, but inadvertently funny pin prominently displayed in front of the tricycle I was riding on.

If you can't, CAN'T spot what's wrong, then SHAME ON YOU!

Errr...that was a rather nice saying they put on the pin there:

"Stupidity is not a crime; your free to go."

But, ehh...if YOUR grammar teachers were not able to make you differentiate between the possessive pronoun YOUR, and the contracted YOU'RE (you + are), then, well, YOU'RE not free to go.

Come and join my grammar class and I'll give you YOUR lesson for the day.

2009-10-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

When an educational institution, and a large, public one at that, claims to take pride in something, its constituents must ensure that whatever is being said in a tarpaulin banner, particularly one that its officials will pose with, is truly something to be proud of.

But it was not the case with this large tarpaulin banner, which was used to commemorate Civil Service Month at a particular university. Its officials were happy to strike a pose with this banner, in full Filipiniana regalia. Sad to say, the banner was large enough to show, especially with multiple photos lined side-by-side, this very odd and very embarassing typographical error:

"...takes pride in our HEROUS in Republic..." Well, what kind of a word is HEROUS? It is not the apparent typographical error of the word in this banner that is appalling, but the thought that the staff were incompetent enough to NOT check and re-check such text, to be printed in a BANNER.

Obviously, the text is talking about taking pride "in our HEROES," and had someone been vigilant enough, such embarassment would have been avoided.

So much for editing and revisions.

Punctuate!

2009-01-19T03:23:00.000-08:00

There are those who think punctuations are just a bore, and that we can do away with them. Well, this picture just proves how powerful those pesky periods, exclamation points, and quotation marks are:

Don't you just want to scream: "Free consultation and find out!" all in one go? And of course, who could resist going for a free consult, when you're about to find out "What's REALLY REALLY wrong with you."

Photo courtesy of Uriel, my high school friend, during one of his trips to the Quezon City area.

Overused in 2008

2008-12-31T16:30:00.000-08:00

I really don't have much to say, except that one should have a blast and blessed (ahahaha, just playing with sounds here) New Year's Eve.

This article caught my eye, though, and it should be interesting for any learner of English, as well as those who simply, simply hate what all these word, errr...mavericks have been coining and repeatedly using this past year.

Enjoy! Banished Words of 2008

"Please do not leave your valuables unattended."

2008-10-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

To prepare myself for my regular detox diet, I went for a deep tissue, full body massage yesterday (including a foot spa, heehee).

There, in my regular corner where I could lie quiet and reflect on my semester's accomplishments, I was forced to "edit" this sign:

"Please do not leave your valuables unattended."

I should not have been surprised, since I was a regular customer at that spa, and it was not the first time they had assigned me to that room. But it dawned on me that this sign was not unique to this place...I had seen others that looked like this, that were phrased in much the same way all over the Metro.

What is wrong with this, you ask? Well...if your valuables are unattended, does that mean that you "attend" them when you are watching them carefully like a hawk? No...you do not "attend" your valuables. You attend plays (heehee, plug-in: read my latest review on Cherie Gil!), birthday parties, conferences, and gigs...BUT you do not attend valuables. You "attend to" them. :D Or, if you are not vigilant, then you have left them "unattended to."

So the sign should read:

"Please do not leave your valuables unattended to."

"The Market is Close."

2008-10-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

The Legaspi Sunday Market has been around for approximately two years now. Every Sunday from 7am until 2pm, vendors from all walks of life and selling items from Japanese slippers to Korean noodles gather in the parking lot beside the Meralco compound and transform it into a weekend hangout. (What a loooong sentence...whew!)

Every Sunday, my family takes part in this weekend transformation as we peddle books, herbal health products, and handmade accessories.

Last Sunday, my dad whispered to me with a snicker:

"On November 2, Sunday, the Market is CLOSE."

My question is: With whom is it close? And just how close are they? Hee.

I think it's a Filipino trait, to mistake being "close" with being "closed." There is a difference.

Furthermore, since we are talking about something in the future (e.g. November 2) the verb tense should be "will be" denoting an event that will happen in the future.

So, happily, the sign should read:

"The Market will be closed."

That should make it much much clearer. :)

The Importance of Pronouns

2008-10-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

What are possessive pronouns? Are they positively-inclined nouns that are oh-so-jealous? Hee!

According to English Plus, possessive pronouns are those kinds of pronouns (words used in exchange of nouns) that show ownership.

The possessive pronouns used to modify a noun are: my, your, his, her, its, our, their, whose.

But what happens when we fail to use these pronouns correctly, or fail to use them whatsoever? A hilarious confusion occurs!

My friend was reading an introduction about a speaker at our monthly gathering last night, and out of sheer comfort, began reading the speaker's preferred introduction about himself. After reading a few lines about the speaker's business roles and professional credentials, my friend, just recently married, read this line written by the speaker himself:

"Husband to my wife..."

...to which the audience began giggling and snickering, even my friend's wife! Heehee! What a difference in meaning!

What a happy maze of pronouns! With just a tweak, a one-word tweak, the statement would have been clearer and much less hilarious. But I suppose bloopers like this are not really about grammar...but preparation. Hehehehe.

Welcome for Coming!

2008-10-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

"Welcome for Coming!"

My brother shared this piece of English with me last night, a hilarious take on "Welcome" and "Thank you for Coming!"

After a few hilarious moments of figuring this one out on our own, I decided to try it with our pastor, Pastor John. He paused a moment, seemed to ponder on what I said, stepped back, then said, "It seems to sound right...but not quite." Thereupon we broke into gales of laughter, thinking of whether the speaker, or writer of that "newly-coined" phrase, meant to welcome or to utter a warm goodbye. :) Ah, the peculiarities of English!

On that same note, an older friend at church (Ate Cora) shared her own Filipino English experience a few days after her dear beloved husband Kuya Rene had passed away. She went to one of the sari-sari stores (Filipino Convenience stores to you expats...they existed way before the 7/11 of our time) in their neighborhood, and was greeted by her suki vendor: "Namatay na po pala si Kuya Rene. (I didn't know Kuya Rene had passed away.)" After which, her suki very sincerely and lovingly told her,

"Happy Condolence!"

A shot at using opposites? Happy indeed! Good thing Ate Cora was a Christian, and yes, in most ways, it was indeed a happy condolence, knowing that Kuya Rene was home safe with his Maker.

Oh by the way, a "Happy Condolence" is no laughing matter. *winks*

Short but Sweet

2008-10-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

I don't pretend to know everything there is to know about English. In fact, I am a learner myself. But sometimes I wonder why students of the Language mess things up by attempting to "swallow more than they can chew."

Take for example, this sentence, which was made by a college student, in response to the theme "College Life:"

Yearn is not made the enterprise moist.

Parallel science earliness and at once.

Hmmm....he...or she used decipherable English words, yes. But it is really just a bunch of gibberish, owing to the fact that the writer attempted to use such big words, with no apparent meaning (semantically incorrect, to the scholars, heehee.)

The point is, that the English sentence was made to be simple. Although there are hundreds of thousands of English words, you can get by with just some basics. With only a few, you can communicate.

I suppose it is the same with any other language. There is no need to use magnanimous, hifallutin words to express basic concepts, especially as a beginner. It would do you good to just begin with short, grammatically correct sentences, rather than fake bravado with long, incoherent ones.

For example, in reponse to the same College Life theme, the student could have written:

College is a new world.

Shorter, but much much sweeter. *smiles*